


Patiently, Quietly, Faithfully

by thehorrorinsymmetry



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Kiss, M/M, a get together fic, a variation of single dads au, dentist finn, physicist poe, trans Finn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-11
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-21 22:59:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16585910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehorrorinsymmetry/pseuds/thehorrorinsymmetry
Summary: Finn and Poe take their kids on a weekend getaway to celebrate the girls' birthdays. What's one weekend away with the man you're in love with?





	Patiently, Quietly, Faithfully

**Author's Note:**

> some alcohol use but there's nothing wild
> 
> this is kind of set in single dads au but my friend and i have a bad habit of making a lot of variations on our aus so this is another way they could've gotten together in that au (also thank u to angel for editing and coming up w the idea with me in the first place)

“Look what I found.”

Finn twists around and looks up Poe from his perch on the edge of the deck. Poe waggles his eyebrows, holding up a bottle of wine and two plastic cups.

He blinks. “Did you bring that?”

“Oh, absolutely not.” Poe hops down onto the sand, his leg brushing Finn’s when he settles on the deck. “No, my friend. This was complimentary.”

He grimaces. “Free wine?”

Poe hums. He fights with the corkscrew, his face scrunching up until the cork comes out with a loud pop.

“If you wake the girls up -”

“Please, they’d sleep through a hurricane right now. Gotta sleep off that post-presents high.” Poe pours two cups out, their fingers brushing when he hands one to Finn. “To fatherhood. And paid vacations.”

Breathing a laugh, he knocks his cup against Poe’s. He takes a sip and immediately regrets it, the bitterness far worse than what he remembers. The taste lingers even after he manages to swallow it down. “That is awful.”

“Yeah, I’m not much of a wine guy.” Poe grins at him, “But it felt right.”

“Did it? Free wine didn’t throw up any red flags for you?”

Poe nudges his shoulder. “With the amount of money we dropped on this place they could’ve thrown us a Sauvignon and I wouldn’t blink.”

“Do you know how bad wine is for your teeth?”

“Mm, I’ve got a really great dentist.”

He laughs. They sip their drinks, the gentle crash of the waves against the shore lulling him. He sways in the breeze, to a beat in his head, a song he can’t remember the words to. His shoulder knocks against Poe’s and he looks over, pausing at his smile. “What?”

“Been a while since you imbibed?

“What? No,” He blinks. “No, I’ve - I’m -”

Poe looks down, still grinning as he rolls the cup between his palms. “I haven’t since before Shara was born. I was never a big drinker, but after she came along every time it was like what if she has a nightmare or gets sick in the middle of the night and I need to be Dad? It was just never worth it.”

“I don’t think I’ve been anywhere near it since before I found out about Charlie.” He takes a sip. “You’re drinking tonight.”

Poe holds his cup up towards Finn in a toast. “I am.”

“What if you need to be Dad again tonight?”

“I have you.”

“Is that the reason or excuse?”

“Both,” Poe’s knee knocks against his as he turns towards him. “We had a really great weekend, you and me and our girls, all of us, and we should celebrate, and even if I do need to be Dad again tonight you’re here.”

“So I can be Dad for you?”

“So we can  _ both _ be -” Poe bites his lip. “It’s tough, the whole single parent thing. I know it’s just for the weekend and tomorrow we’re going back to the real world but - it’s been nice, being here.”

“I think so, too.” He looks down at his cup,  _ our girls _ ringing through his mind. “D’you think anyone would notice if we just stayed?”

Poe hums. “We could live off those big dentist bucks for a while.”

He gasps. “Are you just after me for my money?”

“Shit, you found me out.” Poe pats his knee, leaving his arm resting on Finn’s thigh. “S’the only thing that would ever make me go to the dentist. Made the appointment as soon as I found out about your salary.”

“Did you find out about the student loans too?”

“I’m all about the long game.”

He grins. “Guess you’ll just have to keep coming back for your check ups.”

Poe gags. “Some days I ask myself if it’s worth it.”

“Yeah, it’s so hard having good teeth.”

“You mean all weird and spaced out?”

“Diastemata are cute -”

“Nothing about teeth are  _ cute _ , you weirdo.” Poe pats his knee again and pushes himself up, holding his hands out for Finn. “C’mon, time for bed.”

“Tooth gaps are cute.” He mumbles as he pulls himself up, stumbling against Poe’s chest. “Wow. Somebody can’t hold his wine, huh?”

“Yeah,  _ you _ .” Poe sticks his tongue out. He puts his hand on Finn’s back, steadying him - he thinks that’s the point, anyway. Poe probably doesn’t realize his touch makes Finn want to melt.

“Oh, that’s a good comeback. Did you learn that in your fancy physics school?”

Poe shushes him loudly, pulling the door open. “You’re gonna wake our kids up.”

He pushes Poe inside and grabs a fistful of Poe’s shirt, holding onto him as he closes the door. Poe seems content to wait, listening for the telltale shuffle of children getting out of bed - of their children,  _ their girls _ , his and Poe’s, their wonderful children who don’t make so much as a peep from their room.

God, he wishes this was real.

The floorboards creak under his foot when he takes a step. Poe gasps, throwing his arm up against Finn’s chest.

“Poe,” He giggles. “They’re heavy sleepers, we’re fine.”

Poe takes Finn’s hand and tiptoes through the kitchen, pulling Finn to the side to drop the bottle off on the counter. They jog down the hall, laughing breathlessly over the creaks, and slide through the bedroom door.

Poe drops his hand and shuts the door with a loud sigh. “That was close.”

He laughs, watching the way Poe’s mouth curls up in a smile, the happiness carving lines over his cheeks. “You’re ridiculous.”

“And  _ you’re _ ungrateful.” Poe clucks his tongue. He pushes off of the wall and ambles over to his duffel bag, sliding his hands under his shirt. The fabric drags up his torso, revealing smooth tan skin. He drops the shirt on the bag.

Finn gasps.

Poe looks at him over his shoulder, cheeks rosy from the wine. “What?”

“Hm?”

Poe raises an eyebrow, a grin pulling at his lips. “Should I put it back on?”

“Funny.” He turns away from Poe and pulls his own shirt off. “Think the wine’s gone to your head.”

Poe hums. “Yeah, maybe.”

A zipper shreds through the silence.

He turns, doesn’t even think about it, any thoughts he did have lost completely as he watches the denim be pushed down Poe’s legs, the bright orange cotton that clings to Poe’s ass when he bends over. He drops his jeans on top of the bag and pulls a pair of sleep pants out, the fabric covered in little cartoon penguins. Affection rolls through him, distracting him, thick in his mind while Poe’s fingertips slide under the waistband of his boxer-briefs. The orange fabric drops, landing gently on the floor.

He turns back.

His own fly seems to be hooked up to speakers. Surround sound, an alert to the world that he’s stripping down in front of another man, baring himself - not to the world, nothing that simple - in a way that makes him feel more like a teenager in gym class than a father pushing thirty.

He pushes his pants and underwear down and steps out of it, very carefully and purposefully not rushing into his pj pants. He’s a grown man and he gets changed at a regular human speed like anybody else.

The bed creaks under Poe’s weight. He pushes a pillow behind him and leans against the headboard, holding the blanket up for him. “Can you believe we’re leaving tomorrow?”

“No,” He settles in next to Poe, resting his knee against Poe’s leg. “I don’t want to leave.”

Poe grins. “No? Don’t want to go back to putting your fingers in strangers mouths?”

“It’s not that weird!” He pushes at Poe’s shoulder. “Lots of people think very highly of dentists.”

“Lots of weirdos, maybe.” Poe’s smile softens. He squeezes Finn’s arm, shifting back quickly. “The girls are starting school in a few weeks, we’d have to go back eventually.”

“People live around here, I’m sure there’s a school nearby.”

Poe breaths a laugh. “You had a good time here?”

“I had such a good time. Charlie, too.” He sighs and runs his hand over his hair. “I was a little worried about that - it’s always just been me and her for her birthday, y’know? But she loved it here, with you guys. She’s been so happy - this was such a good idea, Poe.”

“I’m really glad you came.” Poe runs his hand up his arm. He rolls onto his side, shifting lower on the bed, closer to Finn. “Shara adores you.”

“She’s such a great kid. We’ll have to come back soon.” He rolls onto his side and pushes his hand under his head, his elbow moving precariously close to Poe. “After I get to stick my fingers in people’s mouths again for a while.”

Poe shakes his head. His grin fades as Finn lifts his hand up and points his finger towards him. “Finn,  _ no _ . I’m not due for another month, I’ll bite them off.”

He inches closer and wonders if they’re drunk enough for him to get away with putting his finger in Poe’s mouth. 

Poe grabs his hand before he can make a decision. He’s still smiling at Finn with that same warmth, like Finn wasn’t about to do something weird and ruin the night - the trip, their friendship if things really went south. “You’re not that mean.”

“I do have a doctorate in putting my fingers in strangers’ mouths.” He glances down at his hand, still held by Poe’s. “To be fair.”

Poe hums, fingers moving absentmindedly over the back of Finn’s hand. “I’ll forgive you for that, just this once.”

“Since when is getting a good job something to apologize for?” He shifts his head against the pillow. He should probably put more space between them. In a minute, maybe. He just needs to get his fill of being touched like this before he goes back to the real world tomorrow.

“Since the job involves putting very sharp tools inside mouths all day long.” Poe takes a breath, the smile still tugging at his lips. “But you’re also an amazing father with a lovely little girl, and you’re smart, and funny, and really nice to people with completely rational fears of people that could pull out all your teeth on a whim, so I’ll forgive you. This time.”

He stares at Poe.

“What? It’s true.” Poe raises his eyebrows and tries to school his expression into something resembling serious, far too joyful to fall anywhere near his goal. “Everyone has flaws - if you weren’t a dentist you’d basically be the perfect human man and that just wouldn’t be fair to anyone else, so -“

Poe falls silent, blinking. His gaze travels across Finn’s face, searching for something.

He needs space. He needs to not be touching Poe, to not be laying with him, to not be playing make believe like he isn’t going to be back in his own cold, empty bed this time tomorrow. He just has to pull his hand away and get up and go cool off in the bathroom. Just a few minutes to put some space between them, to let the pressure out of here and put this mood six feet underground. He just has to get up.

He kisses Poe.

It’s a chaste kiss, a dry press of his mouth to Poe’s, off-centre with wine on their breath, Poe’s mouth slack against his. Nothing like he imagined.

He pulls back. Poe doesn’t try to follow him, doesn’t seem to move at all. Finn’s heart thuds in his chest as he waits - for a frown, an upset whisper, confusion, polite refusal -  _ anything _ . Time stretches out so that when Poe’s eyes finally begin to open his lashes seem to flutter in slow motion, his gaze rolling through Finn, reaching through every nook and cranny as if Finn’s entire soul were laid out for him.

“You kissed me.”

Poe’s voice is a fraction of its usual strength, the utterance falling just short of a question, the surprise in his tone an echo of the turmoil building within him. He nods.

Poe lets go of his hand.

In the time it takes him to process the movement - what it means - Poe cups his jaw, his thumb grazing over Finn’s cheek so softly he almost thinks he’s imagining it. Poe leans closer until his arm rests against Finn’s chest, pressing closer still until the heat of his body reaches Finn’s, until he’s nearly on top of Finn, until he’s kissing him.

He puts his hand on Poe’s back to steady himself, limbs clumsy as his body threatens to melt under Poe’s touch. Poe shifts, half on top of him, weight pressing him into the bed as Poe flicks his tongue over Finn’s lip, sending a lazy wave of heat that he hasn’t felt in far too long rolling through him.

The wine tastes better on Poe. He slides his hand up Poe’s back, over the endless expanse of bare skin. The world shrinks until there’s nothing left but the length of Poe’s body on his, the puff of Poe’s breath against his cheek. He feels like a teenager again, like he never knew that kissing could be this soft, this warm, this good.

He wants to have this forever. He wants to start every day like this, to fall asleep in Poe’s arms, to bottle this feeling up so he has a pick-me-up on long days. He presses his hand between Poe’s shoulders, absolutely starving for the touch.

Poe shifts back, his open palm pressing against Finn’s shoulder as he breaks the kiss. Finn presses into the touch, trying to find Poe’s mouth again. “Wait, wait -”

He freezes. “Uh, sorry, I -”

“No, don’t -” Poe kisses the corner of his mouth, a rush of air as his breath puffs against Finn’s cheek, the emphatic smack of Poe’s lips settling something within him. “Don’t apologize.”

He stares at Poe, at his mouth swollen from Finn’s kisses, his cheeks red from Finn’s touch. He almost gasps at the heat in Poe’s gaze, the same heat curling through his chest, licking at his spine. He swallows. “We had too much to drink, didn’t we?”

Poe nods, grazing his thumb along Finn’s jaw. “I think so.”

“Did I -” He swallows. “Did I fuck this up?”

“ _ No _ ,” Poe shakes his head quickly. “No, you - that was - uh. Have I?

He shakes his head. A flutter spreads through his chest, tugs at the corner of his lips. “No.”

“Okay,” Poe smiles, his smile growing as his gaze flickers down to Finn’s mouth. “Good.”

He nods. Sliding his hand down Poe’s back, he watches Poe’s expression as he settles his hand on Poe’s side. “Can we talk about this when we get home?”

“Yeah, yeah that sounds good.”

“Okay, good.” He rubs his thumb back and forth over Poe’s side, hopelessly pinned under Poe’s gaze. “What?”

The corner of Poe’s mouth tilts up just a bit more, the creases that edge at his eyes just that much longer. He leans into Finn, his chest brushing Finn’s as he presses a kiss to Finn’s cheek, a hair’s breadth away from his mouth. He pulls back and skims his thumb over the patch of skin still tingling from his kiss. “Goodnight, Finn.”

Poe rolls over, putting his back to Finn, barely any space between them. He takes a moment to weigh his options, the inch between their bodies a chasm he’s not quite sure how to cross. Slowly, he shifts into the space, holding his breath as he fits himself along Poe’s body. “Goodnight, Poe.”

Poe rests his arm next to Finn’s in a silent reply. He takes a breath and shuts his eyes, the gentle roll of waves against the sand outside their window lulling him into a gentle sleep.

 

\-----------

 

Sunlight streams in through the window, blindingly bright when Finn tries to open his eyes. He hides his face against the pillow and groans, his throat pulling painfully as he yawns.

He palms at his eyes. How late is it? More importantly, does he need to be up yet? He cuddles into the blanket and tries to remember what he’s doing today. It’s Sunday, he doesn’t have to be up yet unless his daughter is, and the silence is telling him he can go back to dreaming about being in Poe’s arms before he has to go back to reality.

He noses against the pillow. Half an hour, then he’ll get up. They’ve got to make sure the place is clean before they leave and he shouldn’t -

Wait.

It wasn’t a dream.

They kissed. They really kissed. Poe kissed him, they kissed - with tongue, lots of tongue, made out really - half naked on the bed they’ve been sharing all weekend.

His eyes fly open and he’s immediately met with the fact that his forehead is smushed against Poe’s shoulder. He freezes, seconds passing in slow motion as he tries to figure out what to do. He can’t run. Even if he was able to untangle himself and get out of the room before Poe woke up - a virtual impossibility, if the past two mornings were anything to go by - he can’t do that. Not to Poe.

Before he can come up with a plan that won’t hurt either of them the shoulder underneath him shifts, tensing as its owner moves into a small stretch. Poe shifts onto his side, pulling his shoulder out from under Finn. He rolls back until his back hits Finn’s side and freezes. Slowly, he rolls back onto his front and looks over at Finn.

He swallows. “Hi,”

“Hi,” Poe whispers, voice hoarse. He blinks, staring at Finn for a long moment before he begins to push himself up. “Uh, I’ll be right back.”

He nods and listens as Poe pads out of the room.

Huh.

He pushes up and sits against the headboard, pulling the blanket up against his torso. They were doing so well. They’d almost made it the weekend, they’d shared a bed  _ twice _ and shared meals and spent hours on the beach without doing anything. He just had to make it one more night. That’s it. One more night and he would’ve been home safe in his own big, empty bed.

He shouldn’t have done this. This weekend was about making their girls happy, about celebrating their birthdays together. Charlie’s never had a friend as close as Shara and the absolute last thing in the world he should’ve done was risk that for anything, let alone to just make out with Shara’s father like some kind of teenager.

He should’ve just slept on the couch.

The soft creak of the floorboards pulls him back to reality. He glances at the clothes still laying next to his open duffel and pulls the blanket up higher.

Poe sits on the edge of the bed, half facing Finn. His shoulders slouch and he plays with the hem of his sleep pants, smoothing the little penguins over his thigh before he looks up at Finn. “I want you.”

Time slows to a near stop, the softly murmured words tearing through him with a strength he had no hope of defending himself against, leaving a trail of crumbling walls in their wake as he waits for the  _ but _ .

“I want you in my life. I want you, like last night, I want to - to be able to touch you and hold you and kiss you, but -” Poe stops. He takes a breath, the muscles in his jaw clenching as he stares at Finn. “I’m not - I’ve never been a casual guy. I don’t want something clandestine or just physical, I want - I want you to be in Shara’s life, too. You and Charlie, both. Like when we have dinner together and go on vacation together and watch a movie or go to the park, the four of us. Together. I want to fall asleep with you every night and wake up to you every morning and make dinner for everyone after you pick our kids up from school and be a -”

The thing that’s been building up inside him for so long now, painfully fragile when he’d first seen Charlie all scrunched up and covered in fluids and hidden away for so long, pushes itself to the surface now, expanding explosively here in this rented cabin. “A family?”

Poe nods.

Poe wants to be a family with him. He wants Finn. He wants Finn the same way that Finn wants him, with the same intensity that Finn’s been fighting since Poe and Shara walked into his office, the same  _ thing _ in Poe’s words, in his gaze, as what’s been growing inside of him for so long, that he’s been so afraid to name.

He bites down on his cheek as he tries to calm the swell of emotion rushing through him. He takes Poe’s hand, running his thumb over the uneven rise and fall of his knuckles, Poe’s hand slack between his. “I want that, too. All of it.”

Poe’s brow twitches, the edges of his lips pulling down as he stares at Finn. “Really? Are you -“

“Yeah, really.” He laughs, pulling Poe’s hand closer. “I lost any hope of ever growing out of this a long time ago.”

Just like that, the worry clears from Poe’s expression and it’s filled instead with warmth, with that unabashed happiness unhindered by the invisible wall that had always been between them. Poe turns toward him more, entangling their fingers. “You want to be with me.”

“I didn’t know we were supposed to have big romantic speeches prepared, but I do, yeah.” He drags his lips between his teeth and glances down at their hands. “I don’t - I can’t guarantee - when I got pregnant I thought I had everything worked out, the whole happily ever after thing, and then it all went to hell. But I want to try again - with you. God, Poe, I’ve wanted you since the day we met.”

Poe blinks. “When I had drool halfway down my chin and made a huge fool of myself?”

“When I saw how great you were with Shara and how nice you were even when you were doing something you didn’t want to do and how cute your face was -”

Poe kisses him. He breathes a laugh and puts his free hand on Poe’s back, pressing him closer. The hint of stale morning breath and achingly full bladder only serves to make their kiss sweeter, Poe’s lips softer, the reality so much more than anything he could have imagined.

Poe presses a kiss to the corner of his mouth and nuzzles his nose, resting his forehead against Finn’s as his breath puffs against Finn’s cheek. He rubs a circle over Poe’s back, trying to decide between another kiss and a quick run to the bathroom to freshen himself up when he hears the creak of a floorboard.

Poe freezes against him for a moment then pulls away from him, clambering under the blanket. The door to their room swings open just as they get the blanket up over them, a respectable distance between them like two boring dads that hadn’t just been kissing or having any sort of life-changing conversations.

“Daddy!”

Charlie climbs up onto the bed, vaulting over Poe to lay between them. Shara follows close behind, curling up in Poe’s lap.

He thumbs at Charlie’s cheek. “You girls didn’t want to sleep in?”

Poe bites his lip, utterly failing to hide his smile over Charlie’s head. She looks up at him with her best puppy-dog eyes and puts her hand on her chin. “We want pancakes.”

“Pancakes?” Poe jerks back as if they hadn’t all planned this yesterday. “Why would you get pancakes? It’s not either of your birthdays today.”

“Dad!” Shara whines. “You said we’d have chocolate chips in ‘em!”

“Daddy changed his mind.” Poe wraps Shara up in his arms. She shrieks as he pulls her down onto the bed, pulling fruitlessly at his hands when he nuzzles the messy curls on top of her head. “He wants to sleep in.”

“No!” Charlie presses her hand against Poe’s forehead and tries to push him up. “You said chocolate chips.”

“How ‘bout in an hour?”

Shara huffs. “I told you we shoulda just done it ourselves.”

Poe’s eyes fly open. He pushes up onto his shoulder and cups Shara’s cheek, shaking his head. “Honey, no. No playing with kitchen stuff, okay? You could get really hurt.”

“Okay daddy,” She sighs and leans against his side. “Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?”

“It was warm in here last night, baby.” Poe bites his lip and glances at Finn. “Didn’t you girls say you want some pancakes?”

They cheer and climb over Poe, somehow managing to land on their feet. Poe pushes himself out of bed at a far more sedate pace, holding his hands out for the girls. He looks over his shoulder, holding his spot as the girls try to pull him forward. “You coming?”

He glances down at the girls, grinning at their impatient expressions. Rolling into the spot still warm from Poe, he nods. “Yeah, I’m right behind you.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!
> 
> originally written for a prompt on tumblr over a very long time because i'm in five classes and have two jobs and negative free time (but it's been nice to have this in the few seconds i have)
> 
> kudos are comments are v much appreciated i'm really bad at replying to comments but trust me i read them all the time


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